Parental Advice that Lives On...And On

By Kelly Sinon

Parental Wisdom and Advice; we've all been the recipient of it at one time or several. My parents were full of Parental Wisdom and Advice. Now, as a parent, myself, I can look back and say, "What??"

Mom-isms from back in the day, were plentiful. A sampling would be something like this:

"No, go fix your hair. Girls who wear side ponytails are sluts." Okay, this was the late 70’s and early '80's and side ponytails were as big as...leg warmers, Dove shorts and Pac-Man. And I was the only girl who still had to wear braids or sport a Dorothy Hamil 'do. Yet, we were allowed the occasional tube top. Go figure.

"Don't play with Terry down the street, he'll pull your pants down." (What??) Keep in mind that Terry was a seven year-old boy who did in fact run around naked in his front yard, but that's another story. Mom must've gotten some sort vibe from him, because six months later, I was sitting in my bathroom with a washcloth over my right eye, because Terry had scratched me, and Mom chastising me that she told me so. I was also seven. I still have the reminder of it to this day. Never mind that he could've pulled my tube top down.

Dad-isms were also constructive and firm.

"If you two don't knock it off, I'm going to make you put your seat belts on," While glaring at us in the rearview mirror and traveling 85 miles an hour up I-5, as my sister and I played the "Stop Touching Me" game, on the six hour drive to Hayfork. Again, in all fairness, this might have been in the mid to late 70's and the crash test dummies had yet to drive (or crash) their point home.

Frustrated dads say things like, “I told you not to be stupid, you moron,” but then ten minutes later, tell you how smart he thinks you are. Just don’t let him catch you rolling your eyes. Or worse.

It caused me to wonder what my kids will giggle about when they are my age. What pearls of Wisdom (and Advice)  is  so ludicrous that they simply demand to be put down in print. I'd like to think that everything I impart is good and needlepoint pillow-worthy. Like this gem when my oldest was seven and making me crazy with...Oh, who even listens, I don't know.

"Katie, if you don't knock it off, I'm taking away all of your books." Okay, I'll say it for them... "What??"

Or to my youngest:

"Kirk, I really don’t like that kid you insist on playing with. He reminds me a used a used car salesman." Again, this is me, talking to a seven year-old. What's up with seven year-olds?

I love relating my parents' funny bits to my friends, especially friends who knew my parents, and I am vindicated in my "What??”

Those Parent-isms sure have stuck with me. Never once, did I wear a side ponytail (out in public, anyway. I still had to see what the fuss was about), and I knew that my sister and I would always play the “Stop Touching Me” game, so my seatbelt always goes on (Thanks, Dad).

This might explain why Katie has tons of books. Or why Kirk did in fact stop playing with that kid. Kids really do listen.

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Kelly Sinon lives in Gilroy with her family and can be reached at sksinon@aol.com.