By Kelly Sinon
Driving the long stretch of I-5 north, toward home from Riverside where we dumped...I mean...dropped off our oldest for college that first year, I realized that at some point, she would probably be bringing someone home for her father and me to meet.
It's happening now. There is a young man that we will meet in about 24 hours, which doesn't leave me much time to perfect my persona. I can be anyone I want, which is exciting, but it's fraught with danger that if I choose to be No-Nonsense Mom, I will have to adopt... and keep that as my persona. Perhaps, even for the rest of my life, if things go well between them.
No-Nonsense Mom is a force to be reckoned with. She may be a little gruff (think Colleen Dewhurst in Anne of Green Gables, for my fellow "Anne" nerdists out there), and appear to size you up after each sentence you utter in her presence. She doesn't smile much. She most certainly doesn't snort if she laughs too hard.
So, that one's off the table.
Moving on, we have Happy Mom. She is happy no matter how many glasses (sans coaster) are left on the coffee table.
"No, no... please. Let me pick these up for you. I know you've had a rough day, with your tongue down my daughter's throat when you thought I was busy sliding those freshly baked cookies onto a plate for you. But trust me. I see everything."
Wait, how did Happy Mom morph into Angry Get Your Hands Off My Kid Mom? That was startling. I didn't even know she was there until I was in the middle of that sentence. That's troubling.
Anyway, back to Happy Mom. I like her. She is nice, smiles a lot, cooks, cleans and laughs; also without snorting. She is interested in the youngsters without being intrusive. Okay, fine; that one's off the table, too. Katie wouldn't buy it for a second anyway, and I know for a fact that at some point, there will be snorting. And intrusiveness.
There has to be a happy medium. I mean, I want to instill a good dose of fear, because....well, I just think it might be fun, while still being able to laugh. Hmmm. That is also a tactic. Crazy, maniacal laughter. So many choices!
I guess I could wait and see which course of action her dad takes. We could be Good Cop/Bad Cop; but that's not fair because I know he'll pick Bad Cop and then I'm left with boring Good Cop.
We should mix it up. In "Meet The Parents", could you picture De Niro as Good Cop to Blythe Danner's Bad Cop?
As you can see, this has turned into a thing.
Seriously, as long as there is someone who makes my daughter happy, I may not have to take the fear route. But I can't guarantee that there won't be intrusive snorting.
_________________________________________________________________________________Kelly Sinon lives in Gilroy with her family, and is enjoying the ride on her next parenting adventure. She can be reached at sksinon@aol.com
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