By Kelly Sinon
I am Kelly. I am a lover of bacon and derivative humor; the more sophomoric, the better. I am a recovering Band Geek and self-professed Clean Freak and yet my closet is an avalanche in the making. I like dogs, but will never own one again. I dislike People who think The World Is Out To Get Them and Everyone In It Is A Schmuck. I am a big believer in Everything Will Work Itself Out. As Long As We Are Informed. Oh…And Smile, Smile, Smile!
I am Kelly. I am a lover of bacon and derivative humor; the more sophomoric, the better. I am a recovering Band Geek and self-professed Clean Freak and yet my closet is an avalanche in the making. I like dogs, but will never own one again. I dislike People who think The World Is Out To Get Them and Everyone In It Is A Schmuck. I am a big believer in Everything Will Work Itself Out. As Long As We Are Informed. Oh…And Smile, Smile, Smile!
This is where I am running into trouble. I’m smiling, but it makes my teeth hurt now. I am going to bed too late and waking up too early. I hadn’t made the connection until this morning, when for the second day in a row, on a much-coveted weekend, I woke up before everyone else.
The thoughts that pull me from sleep are the same ones that have me staring into blackness at 1:00 A.M.
“What next?” even though I already know the answer. I know the answer, because as much as having to start your life over because of foreclosure is out of your control, it’s so much more reassuring to know the process. What to expect. To be informed. At least that was the theory. I have researched and poured over various websites. Precious few address the emotional issues that accompany this course of action.
With one hand, the bank rejected the loan modification application, while with the other, we get telephone calls from them, “wanting to help.” More infuriating than I can even put words to, but I am someone who wants to be proactive. Okay, so that didn’t work, what’s the next step? Short Sale.
My mood goes from complete despair to hopeful optimism and back, at an alarming speed. At this point, I just want to “get ‘er done” and start over, but there’s a course of action. Even for failure.
And as I write the word, “failure”, I see its starkness, and finality, but two years from now, this will be a memory; a not so pleasant one, but a memory. I will have done more, seen more, laughed more and hopefully cried less.
There is some comfort in the fact that I am not alone, and that we are a casualty of the economy, rather than greed. Millions of people are right where we are now. There were millions before and will be millions after, each with our own stories of how we got here.
What doesn’t change is who we are. I will still love bacon, and hum the saxophone part to Battle Hymn of the Republic. And once I’ve dusted myself off, I will still be a big believer in Everything Will Work Itself Out. As Long As We Are Informed. Oh…And Smile, Smile, Smile!
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Kelly Sinon can be reached at sksinon@aol.com
